The Adventures of Cindy Li
Can women have it all?
June 27 , 2008
Once upon a time…
I attended the Facebook Girl Geek dinner held in San Francisco. My friend Holly Liu was a panelist and I wanted to cheer her on. The event was a mixture of developers, designers, and business women. It so happened it was the same night as the DC Design Babe’s first event on the other coast of the USA.
Standing there listening to women talk about their experiences I wondered, “Can I have it all? Do men wonder this or is it just women?” What I mean by “have it all”, for me someone to share my life with, a career that I love and a kid I can dress up in super hero costumes.
I’ve attended conference sessions and plenty of conversations about men vs women. The unfortunate thing is most of us don’t have a huge amount of time to mentor or be mentored. I want a mentor, maybe even examples of who to be like or not to regardless of gender but it does help for certain things if the person I listen to is a woman. Why? Well, men don’t deal with giving birth (sorry well maybe that one guy who had the sex change and landed on Oprah) but for the vast majority of you, you can’t. I need my girlfriends for that advice. The advice for what to do when they aren’t in conversations because they can’t bond with other guys the way guys vs guys do. It’s different. We just gravitate to what we’re comfortable with.
A few moments later still thinking about where I wanted to be in my career and life in general I got introduced to a woman that worked with Holly at AOL. She said she had seen me at a restaurant in Mt. View a couple weeks back but was too shy to introduce herself. She followed my flickr pictures. We joked about how she was stalking me and I told her it was silly for her not to say hi. She said I was famous at AOL. I’m not quite sure why but I was surprised and honored.
I’ve read up on people like Andrea Jung, the CEO of Avon (she’s Asian and a high powered woman) and on the board at Apple. She’s on her second marriage. I wonder if that price of professional success has come at too high of a price for her or not? I wonder that for the male CEOs in power. If someone that works all the time can hold their family together when they don’t have the time to spend with the family they are trying to provide for. My parents worked all the time because they didn’t make much so they had to make ends meet, so maybe the answer is yes sometimes it does work out.
I’m trying to figure it out as I go along and maybe we’ll see if I can have it all… whatever I decide that to be. For right now I’m taking notes from the people I know like my friends Jared, Paula, Tara, Erica, Jenny and Jody. If you have suggestions let me know. :)