Second opinion

March 25 , 2011 3 comments

Once upon a time…

I was in the midst of planning my wed 2.0 for all of the friends and family that have supported Matt and I in our lives.

In the midst of the craziness, I got a call from my childhood friend, a woman I had known since I was 12. She couldn’t attend the wedding.We haven’t lived in the same state since we graduated college but we always catch up on the phone and it is one of the friendships where no time passes. I cherish her and am partly afraid because she knows my deepest darkest secrets. ;)

She had been having pain (over a couple of weeks) and I kept urging her to get a second opinion, something just wasn’t right.
I told her a mantra a friend of mine has:

  1. 1. Keep all the blood inside of you.
  2. Have as many orgasms as possible.

She laughed. Who can argue with that?

She finally went to another doctor, I think because of my nagging. (I’m flexing out my future Asian mom skills.) She called me at work and I knew it was bad. I ran to the hallway.

She had cancer.

I started crying in the hallway at work.
A freight train had just run me over in daylight and I couldn’t stop it. I had just lost a friend the year before due to another type of cancer and I was terrified for her.

I just couldn’t have prevented this.

So I am pleading with you go get a checkup. Listen to the voice that something isn’t right and get it checked out. If your doctor doesn’t believe you, go find another doctor.

Now this is not for the squeamish and this is more of a wakeup call. Ladies, go get your physical. Gentlemen, go get your physical too. Seriously, your loved ones do not want/need the stress of you getting cancer. With all the technology we have and inventions in the world, bad things still happen. Ignorance is not a luxury we can afford.

If you have health care you really have no excuse.If you don’t, get it even if it is the one that only covers you in case of some major illnesses. We spend so much on our tech toys but I know of freelancers that don’t think insurance is important. It is and I will not fundraiser for you because you aren’t responsible. :P

Sorry, that’s the end of my soapbox.

During my wedding, I was stressed out trying to make sure our families got along, friends were having a good time and meanwhile I was praying that my friend would be ok. It was just a party. It kept things in check when hotels were over booked, and jewelry went missing. My friend was fighting for her life and making really hard choices. I’m sparing you the details and giving her privacy.

I cracked my tooth because I was grinding my teeth at night worrying thank god for dental insurance. ;)

My friend over a few months went through chemo, and many, many tests. I sent her care packages.

She wasn’t hungry.

She couldn’t sleep.

She was exhausted.

And I couldn’t help from the west coast.

I would call to check up on her and she was weak, and nauseous for the majority of the time. I sent her a knit hat I modified for her to be a mohawk to keep her warm and to make her laugh when she complained about her thinning hair. She called me crazy but that meant her spirits were up.

Her chemo ended and she is back at work now.I keep calling her to make sure she is ok and she sounds like herself again.

The good news is she just called to let me know she is cancer free and I just started to tear up on the shuttle to work. I’m praying the check up in three months is the same.





Fri Mar 25, 2011 at 03.05 pm


That’s great news!!  I hate going to the doctor, but make myself go for the annual check-ups.  If something’s wrong, I want to know sooner rather than later!


Fri Mar 25, 2011 at 05.02 pm


You are an amazing friend and I am so lucky to have you in my life.

You are so loved.


Sat Mar 26, 2011 at 06.43 am


Amen, amen. You are a good friend, and I know many of your friends who appreciate you!

A couple of additional “mantras” to ponder:

I would rather be a preventer than a survivor, if I have the choice.
I would rather be a survivor than a non-survivor, if I have the choice.
I would rather make a choice than feel like a victim.


Constantly, trying to learn new things, and on the way I get to meet some amazing people with my camera by my side. XOXO!

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